Now eagerly desire the greater gifts. And yet I will show you the most excellent way.
~I Corinthians 12:31
Desire can be present without love, but love cannot be present without desire. And the idea that we can produce anything of worth without desire is absurd.
What have we been held captive to? Is it to have all of our needs met, and our wants? To give to others? For being held in high regard by one’s peers, or by a certain segment of society? To flourish apart from insecurities, and preconceived notions of success based on the template of those who are desperately different from us, wired for a different calling, a different direction?
Despite those different directions, using the parallel of the vine, we are all called in the Kingdom to pursue the same goal, no matter what the work: fruitfulness. Fruit that will last. Fruit in keeping with repentance sounds like a solemn idea, but it is the joy of humility which admits it must surrender to the Person with the master plan. That surely is not us. We have ideas, inklings, and predispositions to understand certain things in certain ways, but certainly not all things in all ways. It is why we desperately need one another, to function in the body, to have all elements working optimally, not just for one’s portion, but for the greater good.
The pursuit of excellence has nothing to do with perfectionism. It’s end goal reaches to others, it is not one-sided or self-centered. It is covered. It’s aim is propagating love to the masses. It has to do with spreading brotherly kindness, and oneness, based on the mutual understanding that we are creatures of dignity, created for relationship with the Creator as entities with our own free will and volition to go places and to do things that will ultimately enrich the lives of those around us. A fountain quenches its own thirst, even as it quenches that of others. When we are giving as we are intended to give, we are filled first, so that we can give to others. As an older family member once wisely told me as a sleep deprived new mother: “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” It is the same with love; we love because He first loved us. We cannot give what we haven’t first received. People we often identify as selfish and self-centered are often impoverished by a lack of receiving in their own lives. People can’t give what they haven’t been given. We are taught to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.
Perfectionism starts with an assumption of failure, loss, and powerlessness. “If I don’t accomplish / finish X, Y or Z, I’m toast! Will be cast aside as a less-than. Defective. Damaged goods. Rejected.”
Excellence starts with the zeal of love to see something good flourish. It first brings joy within, and secondly, spreads joy around. It is not self-concerned, it is outwardly focused, while at the same time understanding that it makes no sense to count all the people in the room and leave oneself out! If we do not learn to include ourselves, we will inevitably exclude others.
The pursuit of excellence is inexorably linked to vision. It is propelled by a deep sense that something must exist. We purpose with our whole being that whatever that something is, it must take place in the world, and we stop at almost nothing to see it happen. This is what helps us clear the hurdles that inevitably present themselves along the path, which can often take the form of well-meaning people trying to give us “practical” advice when in fact they are sowing seeds of discouragement and defeat. Oftentimes, more than just lacking a vision of what we have been called to, these people are lacking their own vision, or they are afraid to follow through, perhaps due to discouragements of their own.
If we are the sort prone to people-pleasing, we can spend much time otherwise better invested trying to convince or appease those with whom we may have a genuine and true relationship with of something they are in no place to accept or affirm. There is nothing wrong and everything right in such cases with placing a healthy boundary around the pursuit of one’s calling without calling upon those who are unable to help propel the vision via encouragement. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” ~Hebrews 12;1-2
Because excellence is about the greater good, there is less room to take words of discouragement personally. Perfectionism is obsessed with self, and if we are brutally honest, it is really is a form of narcissism. In the drive of perfectionism, it is much easier to get waylaid by the challenges along the way to accomplishing a goal: after all, if there is failure, it can only be “my” fault. We stew in self-pity and maybe even shame at our self-perceived sense of failure, and then distract ourselves at an either deeper level by turning to habitual self-soothing vices that never allow us to get to the root of the pain actually driving the broken cycle.
By contrast, the pursuit of excellence requires no less personal responsibility than the more selfish aims of perfectionism, but it has more reason to push through obstacles, as more is riding on the lack of completion of the goal, namely, all those who will potentially benefit from the accomplishment of the goal.
Because the focus is on things being the best they can be for the greater good, the ego naturally takes a backseat, and can look to others for help and input to make output be better than it might have been otherwise. This is in contrast to the perfectionist wanting to look good by a job well done. And whether driven by arrogance or insecurity, such a goal in itself is a dead end street, a stream leading into a stagnant pond.
Contrast this with the pursuer of excellence, who along with gladly calling upon the counsel and input of others to accomplish their goal, also knows when their own mark alone needs to be made on a project. This adherence to personal vision is actually a form of humility, because there is recognition that the vision was given, and as the receiver of the vision, an obligation exists to see it through, without deviating to the right or left. Even if what is colored within the lines will require other voicings, the initial outlines are that of the receiver of the vision.
Without the primary vision which is that all vision comes from a higher, deeper place than self, it is likely impossible to follow through with the pursuit of excellence. Even those who do not necessarily subscribe to a Judeo-Christian worldview concede that there is “something greater” or that “the universe” gives and we merely receive, and from there, we pour out what we have been shown. But what a marvelous gift it is to be able to partner with the Giver of the Vision. Beyond just an endowed impersonal force, instead, an actual Being who invites us to open the door and be able to talk over a meal, to share one another’s heart for each other and to get a greater glimpse into the decadent affection this Being possesses for all; this One who not only loves but likes His creation.
A wonderful working definition of the excellence that supersedes perfectionistic tendencies is hinted at in Colossians 3:14. “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Love covers the wrongs, the flaws, the imperfections. It subscribes to a higher law and fully knows and completely recognizes that love is the goal, and perfectionism always falls short of it. While perfectionism’s focus is inward, love’s focuses is outward, and ever expanding.
The desire to create comes from deep within. The roots of the original springs of creativity can be found in Eden, where the Creator breathed life into all beings. We strive for mastery in the subjects we endeavor to be immersed, to be surrounded and intentionally allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by the subject we’ve been drawn into. What is it all for? Christ said he “came that we might have life, and life to the full.” He leads us into “paths of righteousness, for his name’s sake.” It is somehow a great relief to know that when we are lead even down the path of our God-given creativity, we are walking into a path intended to bring glory to Him. Our desire for interconnectedness and peace is a hunger for the very unity found within God himself, exemplified by the trinity. With each difference we all carry, glorious angles exist for the meshing of one another to make up the seamless body of Christ. Our creative activities are ultimately designed to point to the Creator. Many creatives have suffered much. This is necessary aspect of living life in a fallen realm. But that does not have to be the end it. What seems like the end of something is sometimes a new beginning that could not have followed anything but devastation.
Having an understanding of what it takes to overcome the many obstacles in the way to one’s own creative path is a journey of constant change and unpredictability. Perhaps the degree of cutting a clear swath through unchartered terrain is what makes it so compelling once rendered and seen by more than just its creator. The rawness of climbing up, around and through dark and hidden passages in order to bring matter into the light that would otherwise never be exposed is ever a courageous prospect.
Let your mindset be renewed as you sit still and read.
Perfectionism is too often about sitting in hiddenness and fear of change. The efforts to quell action are largely efforts to control the self and to not allow forward anything that can be deemed unacceptable or “less than.” The purchase price to allow mistakes to show is simply too high. There is not enough resource in the account that makes a person able to withstand the criticism that comes when a mistake or problem is detected. It has nothing to do with the magnitude of a mistake or doing what seems like a less than adequate job. Perfectionism presumes a sort of legalistic responsiveness to all situations that are the result of a mistake being made; there is no room for grace or laughter or the generous allowance of a learning curve.
But why do we respond that way? How did our reservoir become so weak and small and depleted? Or perhaps it was only ever a small repository not adequate for the rigors of the world, which require a certain degree of self assurance and an undivided view of the self that allows not only for exploration and being outside of one’s comfort zone long enough to raise more questions than furnish answers, but to fall down, to get crumpled and rearranged, and in the process, know something more of the soul within?
Not unlike the discovery that a reduced urge to experience disgust is an earmark of intelligent people, a deeper curiosity eclipses the personal angst when a breach occurs which was not wanted.
What some never realize is the degree to which they have been under the limiting umbrella of in essence words that have constricted rather than liberated the soul into the place of health and stability, in order to springboard into the fullness of one’s life work.
Trying to achieve balance in one’s life sounds like a worthwhile idea; but it is a misnomer to the extent that what it takes to be able to even assess what is out of balance and then to have the ability to remedy it is really the issue. Until this root is addressed, no amount of well-meaning attempts to restore the weight of symmetry back into one’s existence will achieve lasting, wanted results.
But rather than moan and complain about the aspects of the self that can appear of and actually be off, it is heartening to remember that being able to diagnose these issues is a huge part of the recovery process. Getting lost in the fog of one’s own process can be a bewildering experience, and one left to a counselor to figure out. However, there is much that one can do to help remedy one’s inner life in order to come to a place of health within that is reflected in one’s outer life and day to day choices.
A commitment to change may be the best way to begin. Ask the Father above to help you develop an awareness of what needs to go, what needs to stay, and who needs to come alongside in support of transitioning from a place in the dark and into the light. Not only does joy and satisfaction await, but a great relief at finally pulling free from some highly disabling mindsets that have been allowed to conquer one’s spirit. Remember that God gives a spirit of courage and perseverance, and longs to strengthen you in your journey to the home of your inner self, where pride does not exist, where wishful thinking is not a crutch, and where love rules and reigns.