In the midst of this interruption of ‘normal’ existence, despite the founded concerns and many necessary adjustments in light of them, I am finding this an incredible time of creativity, which thrives on rearrangement and reordering: precisely what is happening all around us. In some ways, if you can bear with the analogy, it is as if we are all now walking quite near the edge of a precipice: potentially dangerous–time to employ precautions–but oh! what a view.

It is so easy these days to refer absolutely anyone to that which is beyond our control: many have been awakened from a dream state that says ‘we humans are in control.’ What a ripe time to share the good news of the Cross and its confounding of pain, sin, shame, hopelessness despair to a doorway of hope and life eternal. The part of the church which has revolved around and relied upon merely human structures and certain cultural inclinations, and less on the Word or the Spirit, has been utterly shaken. May we freely, and gladly enter in to His vision of what it should look like now.

None of us has a corner on that vision: but the beautiful thing is that as we continue to walk in His light, He will reveal what we need to do, where we need to be, and when we need to be there. It will form the beautiful tapestry He alone sees the fullness of. Much like a symphony orchestra: each player playing their part without really seeing one another, just riveted on the music, and the conductor. The music is the Word: the conductor is the Holy Spirit. 

May we humbly comply–and rejoice that our Creator loves to use each of us in our own unique way, to release a beautiful sound in this broken earth. I am so glad His devotion to us surpasses our greatest hopes, dreams and desires for joy, for peace, for life, for hope, for security in these days.

With thanks to Anton Dvorak for the symphony entitled as this post.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.” 

While the passage above from Philippians was written for a group of people around 62 AD, it would seem to be a kind of prophetic declaration for the current state of the world. Things are wonky, bent out of shape. We are tempted to allow ourselves to be bent (beyond recognition of who we are, and who were are called to be), right alongside.

On a clear night, when we remark “the stars are out,” what we are really saying is: “it is now dark enough to see the stars.” Things in high contrast are most visible; and when things around us seem dark, it is the time the light-bearers will most be seen.

The pathway to be what we are truly made to be comes at a cost–but like borrowing against your own account and getting interest on the sum, we heap benefit upon benefit even in just making ourselves ready. “Do everything (all things) without grumbling or complaining.” Unless you’ve already mastered that one, easier said than done, right?

Complaint and grumbling: whether we are exposed to it from within, or from someone else like wafting secondhand smoke, it is a noxious bundling of negativity. Looking closer at the roots of the word helps to understand this.

com – a prefix meaning “with,” “together,” “in association.” plaint – from Middle English plainte, borrowed from Anglo-Norman plainte (“lamentation”),  (modern French plainte), from Medieval Latin plancta (“plaint”), from Latin planctus (“a beating of the breast in lamentation, beating, lamentation.”)

I’m no greek scholar, but it was easy enough to pull up a handydandy Greek-English interlinear translation of Philippians 2:14-16 and find that in most translations, the terms “grumbling” and “murmuring” are used interchangeably, and in the case of this particular verse, are sometimes coupled as “grumbling” and “arguing.”

When I look at the definition of grumbling (verb: to murmur or mutter in discontent; complain sullenly; to utter low, indistinct sounds; growl), I am caught by two particular aspects–that of discontent and sullenness. A sense of resisting the potential of the growth from a trial perhaps intended to bring a newfound strength is suggested here.

This is in contrast to that which is laid out throughout the colorful landscape of the book of Psalms, likely two-thirds of which fits into the category of complaint and lament. So, how do we reconcile this? Shortly before his death, Jesus cried out in utter anguish on the cross, quoting Psalm 22: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” The following stanza goes on to say: “Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest.”

Perhaps what is different here is the fact that Jesus was voicing his pain upwards to the only One Who could remedy his situation. He was not idly stewing in self-pity or inwardly-focused angst: he was expressing his justified pain at the alienation from his Source he sensed. And likewise, in the divinely-breathed utterances in the reminder of the Psalms, the writer resolves each and every time with an underscoring of trust, despite circumstances, despite appearances, despite even the dictates of emotional reality.

The Psalmist later asserts: “You who fear the Lord, praise him! All you descendants of Jacob, honor him! Revere him, all you descendants of Israel! For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.”

Armed with the knowledge that as with anger (“in your anger do not sin” Ephesians 2:4) there is an appropriate time and way to complain, to lament, and not spill over into sin. In the safety of our expression to the Father, there is nothing we need to hold back; our hearts are not hidden.

May we continue to wash away the dust of the self-indulgent grumblings, murmurings and the kind of complaint that dulls the surface we are meant to reflect in dark days. This true light fills others with hope, with resurrection life: but may we not forget it must first fill us– and that our Creator delights to pour us to overflowing.

Postscript: An excellent article I found on this topic from a Catholic sister: https://www.catholicnewsagency.com/column/complaining-to-god-with-the-psalms-2992

It took me by surprise, reading through a couple of familiar verses from Psalm 33 the other day, to see something I’d never seen before. A life-giving breath and delightful reminder of the truth that the Word of God is ‘living and active.’

In these days of a rapidly-changing and globally-embracing situation, for most of us, we reach for known and familiar tools to make sense of things: we scour news headlines for up to the minute information, we read and reread article after article after article to be armed and to have the assurance of a stocked arsenal of awareness to draw upon. Assurances of predictabilities, at the very least, are scanty at best. And then…we pick up the sword of the Spirit, and our carefully cached stockpile falls away to this:

No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.

To adjust the concepts outlined above for a modern audience, following Mad Libs best practices, replace “king” and “army” with power / authority nouns of your choice; perhaps “president” and “administration.” Replace “horse” with your favorite conceivable form of transport; “SpaceX rocket” or what have you.

I am by no means suggesting here that we should not be informed or take wisely-considered preparedness action. But the attitude is what must shift, if it is coming from any place other than this bedrock truth:

But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.

Famine can take many forms other than food–or personal paper products. What I am caught by, is that as I look to outward things to bolster my sense of weakness, of inadequacy, of lack, my God is actually looking to me! He is looking at me. Not to be His source of strength: but as One Who is watching with ardent affection for the moment my eyes will lift, lock with His, and see that He alone is the Source for all that is needed. Selah (‘pause, and think calmly of that’).

How appropriately, the Psalm ends with this reassurance, with the one truth we can stand upon, and not be shaken in these times of trouble:

We wait in hope for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield.
In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
May your unfailing love be with us, Lord,
even as we put our hope in you.

Selah.

[This post was written for a talk I gave at a Mothers’ Day Breakfast.]

While pregnant with my first, never having been much of a “girly girl” and being outdoorsy, I thought I would be more suited to boys, and in fact was so utterly convinced my firstborn was going to be a boy, I almost declined the tech’s announcement at the twenty week ultrasound; after all, I already knew! I was so shocked to hear I was bearing a little girl, it took me almost a week to adjust to the news. After the ultrasound, my husband and I drove to a favorite nearby eatery to celebrate that we’d not been to in some time. To our surprise, a new restaurant had moved in known as “Zoe’s Kitchen.” We’d chosen that name even before getting pregnant in the event God brought us a daughter. We are so thankful for our Zoe, and the double blessing of her sister Isabella born two and a half years later. If I could go back and change the news about having a boy or a girl, I wouldn’t change a thing.

There is such a powerful joy at the solemn responsibility of raising our daughters to walk in the joy and freedom, the peace and dignity that is our heritage as daughters of a king—the King. We are called to set an example, and by God’s grace, to raise example-setters. I love the imagery of Philippians 2:14-15 which says:

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.” 

In preparing, my prayer and heart’s desire is to only speak what I sense the Holy Spirit is saying for this specific group. His love for each of us is truly beyond words to say, and my deep hope is that you’d come away from this event remembering not so much what I’ve shared, as what He wants to impress upon your heart today as I share. When I read the gospels, I am always amazed that when people encountered Jesus, they were not the same afterwards. We want to encounter Him anew in this place today.

When Bonnie first reached out to ask what the title of today’s talk would be, while I already had a sense of what would be shared, I didn’t have a working title. I find that in the twists and turns of creative process, where one begins and ends rarely comes about in a linear way. And yet, somewhat to my surprise, when I prayed on it, I heard not in audible words but from within that the topic was supposed to be “going with the flow.” I was somewhat amused as the expression doesn’t seem to deliver much in the way of profound insight or inspiration, but sensing it was from God, I was intrigued nonetheless. And then, two life experiences flashed in my mind’s eye, and with them, an epiphany. But I will get to those in a moment.

Now, we’re all of course very familiar with the overused saying “go with the flow.” Perhaps it’s been spoken over you: “Hey, just go with the flow!” For some circumstances, it is an oft-repeated adage to not fight something inevitable, to be more accepting; for others, it is a warning regarding the danger of “going with the flow” in order to not drift away from purposeful or meaningful action.

A dictionary definition of the phrase is “to be relaxed and simply accept a situation, rather than trying to alter, to change, or to control it.” I like that definition in that it offers a neutrally charged understanding of the phrase. But I’d like to dig a little deeper and look at both the negative and the positive sides to “going with the flow”, and see what application we as women of God might make.

So. I’m a word nerd, and love to put even what seems to be obvious terms under the microscope to more fully appreciate all aspects.

Flow defined ~

Flow: [verb] to move along or out steadily and continuously in a current or stream (such as a fluid). Synonyms: run, move, go along, course, proceed, glide, slide, circulate, spill, stream, surge, sweep, gush, cascade, pour, roll, rush.

Flow: [noun] A steady, continuous stream of something. Synonyms: movement, motion, course, passage, current, flux, circulation.

So, let’s look again at the popular definition of the saying “go with the flow” which is: “To be relaxed and simply accept a situation, rather than trying to alter, to change or to control it.”

While we all can certainly can fall prey to “going with the flow” when we should be resisting something or taking a different stand, in general, “going with the flow” is not something that comes easily or naturally to me. Let’s take housekeeping as an example. I don’t know how many of you may relate, but feel free to fill in the blanks with your own quiet struggle.

While pride of home could be the driving factor, I certainly can’t say I’m proud of the fact that I can be dashing out the door on the brink of running late for an appointment and still stop to straighten an askew towel, or take the time to fling a stray sock in the general direction of its partner crumpled across the floor. Passing through the gauntlet of randomness and chaos which earmarks the early years of living with young children just to get out the door can feel like being a one-contestant member on one of those crazy Japanese game shows.

And while I have yet to take a DNA test to determine all the nuances of my obsessive-compulsive ;0) I mean my ethnic heritage, the predominant is German, and it comes up in all sorts of ways to remind me. Last year at this time we had a chance to go to Germany to visit dear German friends and incidentally, a cousin of mine who is a Nazarene missionary in a quaint little village on the Rhine. We experienced the truth in all aspects of day to day living that Germans are obsessed with order, and I will freely admit to being as well. There are many good things that come from this orientation. After all, even Scripture says “God is a God of order, not chaos”, right?

But like the proverbial speck versus beam in the eye, the plank in my own can blind me to seeing truer, deeper and less temporal priorities. I can spend time trying to order and fix things that frankly are not at all within the territory of God’s priorities for me.

So, if you will recall, there were two memories directly coming to mind when I sensed God wanted me to speak on the topic of “flow.” One of them occurred on our trip to Germany.

After visiting my cousin on the Rhine in an enclave surrounded by Switzerland, we had a long drive back to Nuremberg in the dark. We had been offered a deal on a rental car that included me as a driver. Now, I don’t know about you, but in my perfect world, where all people are safe drivers, speed limits are suggestions, not requirements. And if you’re anything like me, perhaps you’ll relate to this vignette. I got behind the wheel for my first stint on the famed Autobahn. As I whizzed along at a good clip of speed, and yes, obeying the speed limit, suddenly, there it was, on illuminated signage high above the three highway lanes: a newly posted limit, or should I say, non-limit, indicated by a simple circle with three diagonal lines across its diameter. Shorthand for, in essence, “don’t you dare be found driving any kind of speed limit in this zone.” While familiar with the term “pedal to the metal”, this was the first time I can say I’d ever had the astonishment of discovering what contact of the gas pedal pressed entirely against the floor was like. Little chortles of joy escaped from my lips as the car sped through the night, my daughters peacefully slumbering in their car seats in the back, my husband in the passenger seat silent and bracing himself, no doubt interceding for our safe passage the whole way.

As I pondered that event some time later, I was compelled to ask the question of what made it so wonderful, and realized that it could be boiled down to one thing: the joy of “flow.” In full disclosure, I do have a clean driving record, and it’s been quite a few years since receiving a speeding ticket. =)

So, I’d like to share the other memory that came to mind in regard to the topic of flow, and then I ‘d like to suggest what applications can be made. I love that pictures, including word pictures have the power to speak volumes more than simple words can, which I’m sure is the prime reason why Jesus spoke in parables. So, here goes. Slightly peculiar word picture two.

My second daughter was delivered like the first, via emergency c-section. Use of a catheter for the first stage of recovery was necessary. Having gone quite some time without liquid refreshment, I can hardly express the joy of taking large draughts of cool, refreshing water to my heart’s content. This I did until one of the nurses tired of tending to the results of my watery indulgence chided me saying: “I think you’re hydrated now.” Now, as someone who in normal life seems to not typically be able to drink much water without spending the better portion of the day running to the restroom, laying abed with my precious little one tucked close and getting a chance to drink and drink and drink without a moment’s discomfort was an amazing experience. No thirst, purest refreshment, utter hydration, and cleansing of that which needed to go.

I came to the bewildering conclusion that the postpartum recovery room experience was much like driving on the autobahn–it was this–the sheer joy of utterly and completely uninterrupted flow. If you can bear with the analogies: one experience was the flow of peace. It brought nourishment, was about receiving, it was about release. The other was the flow of passion. It required precision and focus, it was entirely hands on, and yet, both produced a sense of intense well being that would be hard to describe as anything other than deeply satisfying.

As the mother of young children, this concept of “flow” is something I’ve grown to cherish in new ways. I have come to define flow, whether from a place of passion or peace, as the absence of interruption. Ahhhh…the absence of interruption. 

The truth I felt the Holy Spirit whisper to me about the two examples of flow that were brought to mind, polarized though they are:

When we are flowing in our God-given desires, we enable an even more essential flowing: that of full connection between the heart and the mind. 

While many have never heard of a British politician by the name of Andrew Bennett, you may have heard his well-known quote before: “The longest journey you will ever take is the 18 inches from your head to your heart.”

So now, you might be thinking: okay, what do drinking gallons of water or driving over 100 kilometers and hour have to do with this? It’s what they represent: the connection that uniquely takes place when our mind and our heart align.

One represents to me the joy of sustenance; the other, the joy of adventure. We were created for both. But back to the mind / heart connection. When Jesus was asked what the greatest commandment was, he replied:

Love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength, and all your mind. (Luke 10:27)

We need his sustenance to achieve this!

Jesus’s words in John 15:5 illuminate the ultimate flow:

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

I love that he calls it “every branch in me” –- I believe he is saying that what happens to us, happens to him! He feels and knows our every sorrow, and identifies with us intimately. The prophet Isaiah spoke of God’s suffering servant as a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief. He also knows our joys! We are inseparable, and it is that way by design. There is no partnership more intimate, and when all else around us fails, as it inevitably will in some way or another, it is the one connection that will sustain us from the inside out. It’s amazing, it cannot be seen any more than we can see the sap flowing in a plant or tree that keeps it alive. And yet, it is ceaselessly there. 

Pruning reminds me to not hold on too tightly, to anything, or anyone. That doesn’t mean we don’t love deeply, fully, and from the heart. But to remember the place of things in relation to the One we came from, to whom we will one day return. It is ultimately not to parents or friends or other beloved family, or even pastimes, hopes and dreams fulfilled: but to our Creator.

The vine imagery is one of vital, necessary and life-giving connection. It is intimate, and there is no better picture of “going with the flow.” Although I imagine nursing one’s baby is a close parallel.

For those who believe, we have been found in Christ. And from the unshakable foundation of His unconditional love, which is our place in him, we are called to be fruit-bearers:

If you remain (abide) in me and my words remain (abide) in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. (John 15:7-8)

As mothers, I’m convinced we’ve been doubly blessed to bear physical fruit, and have been graced with a deep understanding of what fruit-bearing means, both symbolically and literally.

And yet, despite the ways you know and feel you’ve been blessed, perhaps today you find yourself weary or discouraged on your path. The rigors of motherhood, personhood weigh upon us, requiring us to be limber spiritually and always at the ready. We can feel a sense of heaviness that seems to permeate all layers and levels of our being. But thankfully, as we are works in progress by divine design, He does not require us to have everything figured out, but simply that we trust Him as we go! He wants us to pry our white-knuckled grip off of the steering wheel and let Him have his way. He wants us to know we are His beloved, no matter what we have done or even what we have omitted.

I’d like to remind us of an Old Testament prophet who took a snapshot of all of us flowing in the wrong direction. Hosea was instructed to marry a woman of the night as a picture of God’s unfaithful people. Wow. The truth is that none of us are ever in a place to point fingers at one another: we have all been guilty of spiritual adultery at one point or another, turning to the flow of our own vanity over the will of God.

Following God isn’t always easy, it isn’t always comfortable, but it is always good, and we are promised times of refreshing. May we seek our refreshing and our meaning in Him, the One who took all our blame so that we could walk in freedom. It grieves His heart when we don’t look him full in the face and see the love and forgiveness and utter forgetfulness of our sin and the yearning he has to simply be close to us.

Hosea 10:12 says: Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the LORD, until he comes and showers his righteousness on you. 

The World’s Flow vs. The Flow of the Spirit

Life has a funny way of sending very skewed messages our way regarding our true identity. Mixed messages can come even from well-meaning people in our lives. Depending on the combination of proximity, position and perspective, success or discouragement from staying on course can be the result.

How easy it can be to forget God held you and His plans for you in His heart before you were born?  Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart. (Jeremiah 1:5)

Maybe you know what God has set you apart for, what He’s intended for you to flow in, or maybe you’re still discovering what that is. No matter what, we are all at the same level of neediness and utter dependence on our Creator to show us the way to go, and to pull us through when we feel we can’t possibly go on, when the flow seems more like a trickle, or even less.

At such times, when we feel depleted, we need to take time to spend alone with God. Just as we attend to our physical health by trying to eat well, exercising and taking care of our outer selves, we need to practice good habits for our inner health. Most of us don’t go running to unhealthy sources on purpose: we are inundated by distractions and it is so easy to pick up the phone and pull up facebook or do a search on this and that, and we end up feeling even more drained than before!

It can seem next to impossible in the midst of our busy lives to take that time aside we need to hit the reset button and to ask our Creator to show us exactly where we need his touch. But we need to offer ourselves permission to take that time. Like scheduling a parent / teacher conference, we take those moments to receive feedback and take inventory: how we need to afford the same for ourselves. As one of my cousins said to me once: “you can’t pour from an empty cup.”

Otherwise, the flow can be the wrong kind in the wrong way. Another little story for you.

There is not a woman here who doesn’t feel challenged, likely on a daily basis, of being the best she can be, inside and out. The words speaking of Abraham’s wife Sarah are enduring:

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. I Peter 3:3-5

Now, I don’t believe that passage is saying we shouldn’t take time to look nice! But there is deeper beauty.

Who hasn’t had their life changed by the warmth, the love, the mercy shown to them from someone “just because.” That person who makes us feel special, important, one of kind, on the up and up! That is exactly how your Heavenly Father feels about you! When we can truly receive that we are that loved, it changes everything. How easy it is to forget that we have an adversary who prowls about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. He wants to interrupt the intimacy we are called to in Christ, because that alone is our lifeline! We were intended to flow in these life-giving truths perpetually, not just some of the time! Please bask with me in the following words of Christ found in John 15:9:

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.

As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.

The flow of the Spirit runs counter to the world’s flow. The world urges us to go out and grab all that we can to make ourselves more. God urges us to let go of our striving, to be still and to know that I am God. (Psalm 46:10)

The Courage to Be Corrected (Pruned), the Courage to Dream Again

But what do we do when something that felt life-giving is cut out of our lives? When the flow of something enjoyable is taken away? We all go through pruning at some point. It is required for the health of a plant, and ours too! Tremendous energy can go into maintaining a direction that the Father didn’t intend for us. It isn’t always a matter of sin, but sometimes just of focus.

Having the courage to dream again, especially after deep disappointment has taken place, which can accompany pruning, is a beautiful act of faith. The very challenges that can arise when we take our first cautious steps in the direction of our dreams can be exactly what He’s allowed in order to build muscle, grit, and resolve. We need to ask the Holy Spirit to guide our thinking, our feelings, our healing.

He wants to help you make sense of the times something untenable seems to raise its ugly head, and whether from the past or a present difficulty, “He reveals to heal.” He reveals to heal. He prunes us because He loves us, and knows what we are meant to be!

Everything that happens to us is Father-filtered. Some of us have had staggering burdens to bear. But Christ wants to come alongside with his yoke that is easy, and his burden that is light. The way things are today are not the way they need to stay! Writer Graham Cooke paraphrases the importance of having our minds renewed by the Spirit of God this way: “If all your thinking has brought you to a place you don’t like, have another thought!” We aren’t our minds! I like to think of our brains, rather frankly, as a puppy in obedience training. Second Corinthians 10:5 says:

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

Again, there is no condemnation. We wouldn’t be told that if we didn’t need reminding.

The parable of the sower is often used to describe seekers who have not yet crossed the line of faith into abiding belief in Christ as Lord. But I’d like to suggest that it can also be a metaphor describing the condition of our being with regard to our life callings. May the seed of His word and leading be cultivated in deep, nutrient-rich soil, to bring a great harvest.

A key component to healthy soil is rotting organic material! “Yuck!” as my three year old likes to say with zeal. But that is just what it needs to be nutritious and conducive to growing other things. The losses, difficulties and learning experiences we have that reveal things we’d rather not see can actually make us stronger and humbler as we allow the lessons learned to inform how we respond in the times to come! They are not a waste if we let our Gardener use them. Nothing is wasted.

No matter what life has dealt you to this moment, it doesn’t matter what you’ve lost: what matters is that you’ve been found. The question is, what have you and I been found for?

Well, at the very least we can rest assured it isn’t so we can look back at our past and cringe. The enemy of our souls wants us to feel indebted to mistakes and sins committed, whether our own or against us. It can be easy to dial into the voice of the accuser, whose common ploy is to heap us with shame, or with fear, to the point that we withdraw from others and go into hiding.

We may not feel it at such times, but the unconditional love and acceptance of God is ceaselessly flowing for us. Our enemy is called an angel of light because he likes to try to mimic the voice of God, and will use guilt and shame to pull us out of fellowship with the Father and with others. He is a deceiver. The truth we need to reconcile with at such times, out of our own incapacity to deal with what we are powerless to fix or to control, is that God is for us, He is never against us! There is no pointing finger of accusation any more! Mercy has triumphed over judgment, and that is why we have been enabled to walk in a spirit of forgiveness. It can take time, but the process is what sets us free.

Romans 8:1 reminds us: Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

We know we have been brought into the family of God not because of any good we can do, but because of His goodness and grace. But we haven’t been saved just so we can go to heaven: if that were the case, God would have ended our earthly lives at the point of salvation, and whisked us off to heaven! We’ve been set apart for an amazing purpose.  If you remain (abide) in me and my words remain (abide) in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples. (John 15:7-8) What happens is that our greatest desire becomes to do what He wants! And what He wants, He will accomplish. He wants to wash our hearts clear and clean of lesser desires. He wants us to go with the flow—His flow!

I love the words of Paul in Philippians 3:12-14:

Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 

He doesn’t expect us to run our race with perfection, but with persistence! As Paul goes on to say:

Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. 

Paul admitted he hadn’t “arrived” yet, and he wasn’t afraid to admit it.

There is a grace when we are humble enough to admit we are in process, we are in flux! And the truth is that we all are! So what is our response, especially when we feel there’s been starting and stopping, in essence, a greatly interrupted flow?

But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. 

God loves you and knows you through and through, and you are incomparable! He delights in you!

In closing:

Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life. (Proverbs 4:23)

He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’ (John 7:38)

That flow? Ultimately, it is coming from you, and it’s coming from me. All…because of Him. Let’s go with the flow—His perfect, nurturing, life-giving flow.

Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There is a crack, a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in. —Leonard Cohen.

The tension in the conceptual poles between weakness and strength is in found in more than one place in scripture.

“God’s weakness is greater than man’s strength.”

Most every believer is familiar with the following scriptural injunction:

“Even if I should choose to boast, I would not be a fool, because I would be speaking the truth. But I refrain, so no one will think more of me than is warranted by what I do or say, or because of these surpassingly great revelations. Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

Most perfectionists believe that they are somehow stronger for being more “perfect.” Perhaps German philosopher Nietzsche contributed fundamentally to this kind of thinking with his concept of the ideal “übermensch” or Superman. This broad platform of belief is the very core of the matter. And yet, scripture presents a very different view of human weakness. Whether weakness is defined as some kind of impairment, financial straits, ruined relationships or loss, whether of someone dearly loved or something deeply valued, the fact remains that all of us deal with weakness in a multiplicity of ways.

Strength is a form of definition: a rock to stand upon, an abiding reference point, a foundation from which to overcome. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. But the question remains: what, and perhaps more appropriately, who is the source of our own strength?

But what if the ultimate place of victory resides not in our greatest accomplishments, but rather in our greatest ineptitude? What if our ragged attempts that will always fall short of the majesty we so long for points the way not to us, but to the One who made us, who delights to make us into what we could never be apart from His grace?

LORD, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us. ~Isaiah 26:12

How would we live, what would we do, and how would we think if we actually acted as if the strength we possess where nothing more than a gift we were given to steward?

There is such a difference between taking ownership of our gifts in order to steward them, and taking ownership of them as if we were the ones from whom they originated. As far as others are concerned, they are! But it would be misguided at best to act as if we were the ultimate source of our own capabilities. That of course isn’t to say we have no responsibility in developing what we’ve been given. Taking the initiative to bring things into being that would not otherwise be is key, but that is not the same thing as believing as if we were the true source of what we do. All of us have received a measure of glory. And that is the point: it has been given.

[It is no longer about sing-song wisdom. It is about trust.]

So what of weakness? If we are not the source of the giftings within, why does weakness bother us so much? Weakness is not what we want to tout. It is not something we wish to become—it is not something we aspire to. But perhaps a distinction must be made between brokenness and vulnerability; both are a form of weakness, but both certainly can point to God. We are but hollow forms in need of filling. We need the indwelling of the tranquility, the grace, and also the timing of a Being Who is beyond us, and beyond time. The Architect of all which is, of our lives and our fallen blueprints (not fallen due to His design, but due to a choice made by humankind years ago to step outside of the realm of divinity to that of limited humanity) stands by to scoop us up out of the ashes and show our lives for the beautiful creations He intended them to be. They are not meant to showcase shame, but to show off His power and majesty.

And how many forms the digressions can take. None however are more powerful than the Maker’s ability to cleanse, heal, purge away. We are allowed to lay down our debt, be it doubt, fear, or any burdening weight we were simply never meant to bear.

Our mortal accuser wants to bring us down and away from any awareness that actually brings liberation. Wants to diminish that which is sacred. Wants to shrink and not expand our realm of influence for good. Regardless of what the past has been, we need to release all the years of stored bitterness and long accounts with missing the best in our hearts and minds into His better keeping and worship the One who sets us free. Then, we can hope to see things change. This is change not on our terms, but on the terms of the One who made us. The good news is that God wants this positive change for us more than we even want it for ourselves.

The irony is that the attempt to be perfect is only achievable when we stop trying to attain it. Its very pursuit is driven by flesh, and what is of the flesh will always end in death: it cannot stay. What is driven by the spirit however not only brings life in the here and now, but plies on into eternity. The spirit is not concerned with being perfect: it is already whole. Once we learn to operate from its center instead of the flesh, a whole new world opens up. We are given the opportunity to have our eyes washed clean of the debilitating view that it is all up to us to accomplish anything of worth. This is the antithesis of the gospel, which maintains that we are helpless without God’s intervention. This is wrapped in the abiding reality that God does more than help us, He loves us even when we don’t receive His help. But the point is that we have a firm launch point in all of these struggles, and despite whatever has taken place, up until this precise moment, the next breath is an opportunity to walk away without needing to do another thing, into a beginning trajectory into freedom.

[Take the Rockport seat away for the time being. You are free to socialize as you see fit.] ?

[Carve out time to listen. To be a witness.]

The core issue with perfectionism is identity: we try to carve out our own dimensionality without first securing it to the divine blueprint we were created to showcase. By showcase I don’t necessarily mean any particular range of a public platform, but more basically, the pure essence that one was created to move within.

So what can we do to remain in a sense ‘uncultured’ and free from the trappings of success that would otherwise overwhelm us and subjugate our souls to miseries that are wrapped up in the pursuit of things which are less than what has been prepared for us in advance.

The challenge is: are we able to step away and just breathe into our work long enough to see something come to fruition? We try to outpace ourselves in the nonstop quest to answer the demands of maintaining our world as we believe it needs to be. How do we somehow manage to clear the slate and just let things fall where they may, in order that our inner workings, the truth of our creative lives, come to the fore? We are not so conditioned to allowing our artistic pursuits lead the way or come to the fore or rise to the surface: we have been made to believe that on some level artistic endeavors are frivolous and actually second to pursuits that have more measurable outcomes. How does one answer the call within that by its very nature is about invoking the ineffable, and pointing to the truth of the boundless within, the matters of the heart and spirit that simply cannot be quantified? It isn’t that the art is wrong or even disrespected: it is that so many do not honor their own private journeys, their path through their own hurts and joys and betrayals and highpoints?

To have a vision to produce something new, something we’ve never done before or that has not been done in the world is a rare task to perform. We feel it is so elusive and unattainable. But once we honor it above the life of the flesh, we find the time to do it. It does not roll on the tracks of the world.

It is interesting to note that Jesus’ power was limited or launched by the faith of those around him. We are no different: and if we don’t find proper outlets for our creativity, we are going to not flow in the manner we were intended to. But once we find that place where we are actually received, there is a welcoming presence that makes things not only work, but flourish.

Now eagerly desire the greater gifts. And yet I will show you the most excellent way. 

~I Corinthians 12:31

Desire can be present without love, but love cannot be present without desire. And the idea that we can produce anything of worth without desire is absurd.

What have we been held captive to? Is it to have all of our needs met, and our wants? To give to others? For being held in high regard by one’s peers, or by a certain segment of society? To flourish apart from insecurities, and preconceived notions of success based on the template of those who are desperately different from us, wired for a different calling, a different direction?

Despite those different directions, using the parallel of the vine, we are all called in the Kingdom to pursue the same goal, no matter what the work: fruitfulness. Fruit that will last. Fruit in keeping with repentance sounds like a solemn idea, but it is the joy of humility which admits it must surrender to the Person with the master plan. That surely is not us. We have ideas, inklings, and predispositions to understand certain things in certain ways, but certainly not all things in all ways. It is why we desperately need one another, to function in the body, to have all elements working optimally, not just for one’s portion, but for the greater good.

The pursuit of excellence has nothing to do with perfectionism. It’s end goal reaches to others, it is not one-sided or self-centered. It is covered. It’s aim is propagating love to the masses. It has to do with spreading brotherly kindness, and oneness, based on the mutual understanding that we are creatures of dignity, created for relationship with the Creator as entities with our own free will and volition to go places and to do things that will ultimately enrich the lives of those around us. A fountain quenches its own thirst, even as it quenches that of others. When we are giving as we are intended to give, we are filled first, so that we can give to others. As an older family member once wisely told me as a sleep deprived new mother: “you can’t pour from an empty cup.” It is the same with love; we love because He first loved us. We cannot give what we haven’t first received. People we often identify as selfish and self-centered are often impoverished by a lack of receiving in their own lives. People can’t give what they haven’t been given. We are taught to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.

Perfectionism starts with an assumption of failure, loss, and powerlessness. “If I don’t accomplish / finish X, Y or Z, I’m toast! Will be cast aside as a less-than. Defective. Damaged goods. Rejected.”

Excellence starts with the zeal of love to see something good flourish. It first brings joy within, and secondly, spreads joy around. It is not self-concerned, it is outwardly focused, while at the same time understanding that it makes no sense to count all the people in the room and leave oneself out! If we do not learn to include ourselves, we will inevitably exclude others.

The pursuit of excellence is inexorably linked to vision. It is propelled by a deep sense that something must exist. We purpose with our whole being that whatever that something is, it must take place in the world, and we stop at almost nothing to see it happen. This is what helps us clear the hurdles that inevitably present themselves along the path, which can often take the form of well-meaning people trying to give us “practical” advice when in fact they are sowing seeds of discouragement and defeat. Oftentimes, more than just lacking a vision of what we have been called to, these people are lacking their own vision, or they are afraid to follow through, perhaps due to discouragements of their own.

If we are the sort prone to people-pleasing, we can spend much time otherwise better invested trying to convince or appease those with whom we may have a genuine and true relationship with of something they are in no place to accept or affirm. There is nothing wrong and everything right in such cases with placing a healthy boundary around the pursuit of one’s calling without calling upon those who are unable to help propel the vision via encouragement. “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” ~Hebrews 12;1-2

Because excellence is about the greater good, there is less room to take words of discouragement personally. Perfectionism is obsessed with self, and if we are brutally honest, it is really is a form of narcissism. In the drive of perfectionism, it is much easier to get waylaid by the challenges along the way to accomplishing a goal: after all, if there is failure, it can only be “my” fault. We stew in self-pity and maybe even shame at our self-perceived sense of failure, and then distract ourselves at an either deeper level by turning to habitual self-soothing vices that never allow us to get to the root of the pain actually driving the broken cycle.

By contrast, the pursuit of excellence requires no less personal responsibility than the more selfish aims of perfectionism, but it has more reason to push through obstacles, as more is riding on the lack of completion of the goal, namely, all those who will potentially benefit from the accomplishment of the goal.

Because the focus is on things being the best they can be for the greater good, the ego naturally takes a backseat, and can look to others for help and input to make output be better than it might have been otherwise. This is in contrast to the perfectionist wanting to look good by a job well done. And whether driven by arrogance or insecurity, such a goal in itself is a dead end street, a stream leading into a stagnant pond.

Contrast this with the pursuer of excellence, who along with gladly calling upon the counsel and input of others to accomplish their goal, also knows when their own mark alone needs to be made on a project. This adherence to personal vision is actually a form of humility, because there is recognition that the vision was given, and as the receiver of the vision, an obligation exists to see it through, without deviating to the right or left. Even if what is colored within the lines will require other voicings, the initial outlines are that of the receiver of the vision.

Without the primary vision which is that all vision comes from a higher, deeper place than self, it is likely impossible to follow through with the pursuit of excellence. Even those who do not necessarily subscribe to a Judeo-Christian worldview concede that there is “something greater” or that “the universe” gives and we merely receive, and from there, we pour out what we have been shown. But what a marvelous gift it is to be able to partner with the Giver of the Vision. Beyond just an endowed impersonal force, instead, an actual Being who invites us to open the door and be able to talk over a meal, to share one another’s heart for each other and to get a greater glimpse into the decadent affection this Being possesses for all; this One who not only loves but likes His creation.

A wonderful working definition of the excellence that supersedes perfectionistic tendencies is hinted at in Colossians 3:14. “And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.” Love covers the wrongs, the flaws, the imperfections. It subscribes to a higher law and fully knows and completely recognizes that love is the goal, and perfectionism always falls short of it. While perfectionism’s focus is inward, love’s focuses is outward, and ever expanding.

The desire to create comes from deep within. The roots of the original springs of creativity can be found in Eden, where the Creator breathed life into all beings. We strive for mastery in the subjects we endeavor to be immersed, to be surrounded and intentionally allow ourselves to be overwhelmed by the subject we’ve been drawn into. What is it all for? Christ said he “came that we might have life, and life to the full.” He leads us into “paths of righteousness, for his name’s sake.” It is somehow a great relief to know that when we are lead even down the path of our God-given creativity, we are walking into a path intended to bring glory to Him. Our desire for interconnectedness and peace is a hunger for the very unity found within God himself, exemplified by the trinity. With each difference we all carry, glorious angles exist for the meshing of one another to make up the seamless body of Christ. Our creative activities are ultimately designed to point to the Creator. Many creatives have suffered much. This is necessary aspect of living life in a fallen realm. But that does not have to be the end it. What seems like the end of something is sometimes a new beginning that could not have followed anything but devastation.

Having an understanding of what it takes to overcome the many obstacles in the way to one’s own creative path is a journey of constant change and unpredictability. Perhaps the degree of cutting a clear swath through unchartered terrain is what makes it so compelling once rendered and seen by more than just its creator. The rawness of climbing up, around and through dark and hidden passages in order to bring matter into the light that would otherwise never be exposed is ever a courageous prospect.

Let your mindset be renewed as you sit still and read.

Perfectionism is too often about sitting in hiddenness and fear of change. The efforts to quell action are largely efforts to control the self and to not allow forward anything that can be deemed unacceptable or “less than.” The purchase price to allow mistakes to show is simply too high. There is not enough resource in the account that makes a person able to withstand the criticism that comes when a mistake or problem is detected. It has nothing to do with the magnitude of a mistake or doing what seems like a less than adequate job. Perfectionism presumes a sort of legalistic responsiveness to all situations that are the result of a mistake being made; there is no room for grace or laughter or the generous allowance of a learning curve.

But why do we respond that way? How did our reservoir become so weak and small and depleted? Or perhaps it was only ever a small repository not adequate for the rigors of the world, which require a certain degree of self assurance and an undivided view of the self that allows not only for exploration and being outside of one’s comfort zone long enough to raise more questions than furnish answers, but to fall down, to get crumpled and rearranged, and in the process, know something more of the soul within?

Not unlike the discovery that a reduced urge to experience disgust is an earmark of intelligent people, a deeper curiosity eclipses the personal angst when a breach occurs which was not wanted.

What some never realize is the degree to which they have been under the limiting umbrella of in essence words that have constricted rather than liberated the soul into the place of health and stability, in order to springboard into the fullness of one’s life work.

Trying to achieve balance in one’s life sounds like a worthwhile idea; but it is a misnomer to the extent that what it takes to be able to even assess what is out of balance and then to have the ability to remedy it is really the issue. Until this root is addressed, no amount of well-meaning attempts to restore the weight of symmetry back into one’s existence will achieve lasting, wanted results.

But rather than moan and complain about the aspects of the self that can appear of and actually be off, it is heartening to remember that being able to diagnose these issues is a huge part of the recovery process. Getting lost in the fog of one’s own process can be a bewildering experience, and one left to a counselor to figure out. However, there is much that one can do to help remedy one’s inner life in order to come to a place of health within that is reflected in one’s outer life and day to day choices.

A commitment to change may be the best way to begin. Ask the Father above to help you develop an awareness of what needs to go, what needs to stay, and who needs to come alongside in support of transitioning from a place in the dark and into the light. Not only does joy and satisfaction await, but a great relief at finally pulling free from some highly disabling mindsets that have been allowed to conquer one’s spirit. Remember that God gives a spirit of courage and perseverance, and longs to strengthen you in your journey to the home of your inner self, where pride does not exist, where wishful thinking is not a crutch, and where love rules and reigns.

What can amaze viewers and performers alike is a rarefied “condition” that alights upon the performer at times, that is no respecter of persons, that comes to the lucky and the qualified alike, known as the Zone. A basketball star in high school and college, the ‘point man’ known as “The Whiz Kid”, my father described this unplanned and blessed condition that would suddenly manifest as he sprinted across the court, and experiencing the sense that he could make no wrong moves and miss no baskets. It was if time and space had congealed into some kinetic substance locking in success, grace, and a playing dynamic that far superseded any practice sessions. That is not to say practice sessions didn’t avail these moments, and perhaps make them possible. Perhaps it is not unlike what is known as ‘beginners luck’, when a certain level of precision that extends beyond any level of known expertise seems to come into play. I do not believe these moments have been conjured, and that they are lovely not only for what they allow, but for the fact that they alight when least expecting, and are full of grace and hope of something beyond what the natural realm can offer.

What might this have to do with perfectionism? Nothing, and everything. Perfectionism claims self-achievement. It is self-deserving, and self-promoted, and does not credit any source beyond itself. Therefore, the grace of the Zone defies perfectionism, it surpasses it both in form and in substance. Perhaps it can also teach us about what it should look like, that is, the antithesis of perfectionism.

Many performers of one sort or another, the two most obvious examples being athletes, musicians and entertainers all know something of this phenomena. The moments created by the presence of the Zone are what performers live to experience; there is nothing quite like it in feeling propelled headlong, at once both safely and wildly into the purest essence of one’s chosen activity. It is the pleasure of flight.

The irony of it all is that it isn’t really achievable by any standard algorithm, logical progression or linear process of any sort. The only way it can summoned is to show up and do the work, and thereby maximize the chances that such a blessed moment may come along like a summer rainstorm washing the heat away. If there were some formula to bring it about, it wouldn’t be the Zone. Perfectionism is based upon an almost religious fervor to bring about favor through one’s actions. The Zone however is pure favor that holds no condition over its recipient except perhaps that it is entertained by moving in accordance with what it will inspire its subject to. It is like the Muse that comes alongside to better an existing gift or capability with what is beyond any written scope of action or work.

So what conclusions can be drawn about this most elusive orientation? Just as “success favors the prepared,” there is probably a similar principle at work with the Zone. But that said, there is little that can be done to bring it about save the humility of working even when there seems little to show for it. Ecclesiastes 9:11 says: I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all.

‘Time and chance’ is an excellent descriptor for the Zone, and there is probably none better.

The end goal of performing, ideally, is to give one’s gift away to others. The gift stays within the giver, and yet, the more it is shared, the richer it becomes. It is like The Picture of Dorian Gray, except that in this case the gift within beautifies the giver the more it is relayed to others. Like a fruit tree producing year after year, part of the quality of what it produces is its longevity. The gift grows within, and can spark the same unction within another to similarly give what has been given. This cultivation is not always easy, is not always what one anticipates it will be. Like a map being drawn for the first time of an unfamiliar territory, where the bends in the road represent discovery and newfound places, so the preparing one’s gift to be shared creates an extraordinary context in which to experience and understand the divine hand at work in the curious orientation which is the Zone. It cannot be bottled up and put on a shelf, it cannot be harnessed like a plow horse or mimicked in any way. But its presence working in, through and around someone’s giftings is a great way to see faith strengthened and to walk by faith not by sight. The Zone doesn’t have eyes, but it can be seen, not for itself, but for the beauty it brings to action. It can be experienced for the person caught in its wind, and the results of it can easily be seen by those seated on the outside edges of the experience that engenders it. It doesn’t worry about risking self-exposure, something most perfectionists long to change about themselves. But it shows up like a friendly sort of person that makes no demands, simply wants to stay and to be for a time. “Be still and know that I am God” is a favorite line of mine in Psalms, urging readers to, as it says in some versions, to ‘cease striving.’ Striving is actually quite overrated. The need for calm, assertive action is all that is needful and at times even expected, depending on who is present for a given event that may be conducive to the introduction of the Zone, when we are all least expecting it!

Are there certain times or places where you find the Zone seems more likely to make an appearance?

It is amazing what kind of flow can take place when we are free to express ourselves. Probably the main reason so many people drink alcohol is to have the free feeling that makes one feel capable of anything. It is sad it takes a potentially destructive substance in order to feel oneself free of fear and the inhibitions that can drag us away not only from accomplishing our goals, but at the very least can make us miserable trying.

Who likes to have someone tugging on their sleeve, tapping them on the shoulder when an attempt is being made to focus? There can be few things as frustrating as getting into a flow, only to have someone or something cone along to chase away the thought that seemed to be leading to a breakthrough. Most often, we do it to ourselves: we interrupt our own flow by tripping ourselves up with a million mundane tasks leading to nowhere when we actually need to get to our work. We flee when we need to stay, and stay when we need to go. The rigors of a given project however are nothing in comparison to the strength we have inside to stave off the distractions. But it takes time to let the blessing of minimalism take over. By minimalism, I do not mean not having many things. But there is a sweet spot, a kind of intentional limiting of the raw materials that make up a day—a kind of “diet” of the multitudinous things that can get in the way of forward movement with a given calling or task. We have to choose to limit not only what we put our hands to, but our mind and heart as well. This will result in forward movement beyond what we could have imagined.

It will mean saying no to good things. It will confuse some people who don’t quite have a grasp on your new strategy, particularly if you’ve had a hard time saying “yes” to too many things in times past. Performance orientation can die a slow death: like all demons, it doesn’t want to leave, but wants to keep you under its lock and key and in bondage to a lesser experience of life. It may even allow you to see or experience some level of success in terms of what others perceive of you in terms of the praise or affirmations they may offer you. But you may be perfectly miserable on the inside, and not really capable of even receiving the encouragement that may be well-founded, because you are so locked up inside your own mind, and in particular, having made the conclusion that you are a hopeless loser that is simply never going to achieve what you’ve intended, you simply don’t have room in your ears left to entertain any other thought or viewpoint.

Again (refer to chapter on Phantom Captors), it is all about mindset. There is a calibration some of us received as children that we are not acceptable until we are not making any mistakes. This is a vicious way to go about things, when mistakes are probably the most fertile ground for learning that we have. If we are only allowed to “win,” how do we know why it is a win? Is a win not made sweeter after there are losses? It’s closely akin to gratefulness. While spending a month in Romania not long after the fall of the Ceaucescu regime, I worked with nationals who had grown up under the fear-based climate and culture of a country infested with secret police, forced to lie simply to maintain an existence. Families were required to have five children in order to bolster the failing economy, and it did not matter whether they could afford to feed them or not. Thus was borne the nightmare of the orphanages that took in these children whose parents did not want to surrender them, some of whom grew up never being lifted from their cribs, stunted by their severe limitations.

It is a horrible picture of a truth that nevertheless has a spiritual component. We are all stunted when we find ourselves limited by lies.

Whether learned or caught or simply occurring within, there is a tendency for many perfectionists to get caught up in unhealthy competitive behavior. Healthy competition can move us to perform at a higher level. Two horses running neck and neck will spur each other on to their maximum ability. A great definition of healthy competition is that it motivates us to perform to the best of our ability. That is the focus, not necessarily the winning. There is even a humility inherent in this approach. You could win, and yet still feel humbled knowing that you didn’t give your all. Healthy competition focuses on process.

What causes this drive to want to win? Is it fear, insecurity? Or just a lust for power and control?

In healthy competition, winning as an athletic outcome is much less important than performing to your potential. Instead, athletes should be encouraged to focus on the process of the performance and doing their best.

Consider this quote from Dr. Alan Goldberg, sports performance consultant:

“Coaches who coach the outcome and over-stress the importance of winning actually set their players up to fail. If you truly want your athletes to emerge victorious, then winning should be the last thing that you talk about with your team. This is the paradox of winning and competition. The more you focus on winning, or beating a particular opponent, the less chance you have to actually win, and the less you focus on winning, the more likely you are to be victorious! 

Another aspect of healthy competition is the novel concept that the opponent is not an enemy that you need to “hate, kill, and destroy!” If you want your athletes to really excel at crunch time then you must teach them, instead to view the competition as a “partner.”

If you look up the word “compete” in the dictionary, you’ll discover that it means to “strive or seek together.” In the true sense of the word, competition is a quest that is jointly undertaken by each competitor. “Opponents seek together” in the contest, helping each other raise the level of their individual performances. The better and more challenging your opponent, the more opportunity you have to take your performance to the next level.

This is probably why you see so many world records are broken at the Olympics every four years. You have the best athletes in the world “seeking together” and pushing each other to new heights. In this sense your opponent is truly your partner.” –Competitive Advantage, (www.competitivedge.com)

The real issue with perfectionists comes back to the issue of foundations: what drove a person to perfectionism in the first place? Was it due to an overbearing authority figure or respected mentor who required an unhealthy and unholy preoccupation with performance? Or is it an inner struggle from some place deep within, or both? No matter the source, it must be decimated and a new foundation take its place.

The foundation is love. The foundation is healthy love of self! The foundation is concern for others. The person who is full of love is always ready to pour it out to others.

Oftentimes, we forget how to love ourselves properly. There are many messages in the culture that emphasize taking care of oneself, you owe it to yourself, indulge, and so on, but that is not love. “Do to others as you’d have them do to you” is the only approach that works.

I find it ironic that the Apostle Paul writes of “running the race to win” and “beating his body to make it his slave” and commentary to the effect of “so that I may win the crown of life.” Having been raised with a view to the unhealthy side of competition that focused not on bravery or what to do when one fails, or how to inspire courage, the truth is that there was likely a low view of self in operation that prevented the proper foundational breadth on which to stand and find oneself capable of sturdiness and substance in the midst of the fray. It would seem logical that if one loves oneself properly, it follows that there is an atmosphere of forgiveness and patience and tenacity and all the things required to be able to not only win, but to fail, and when failing, to be able to get up again unscathed by a momentary setback. A setback is all about perception. A setback can bring about a necessary kind of regrouping in which to expand one’s vision, recognize that the depth of learning or skillset needs to increase, or that more healthy self-worth needs to be the end result of what may well be a season away from performing one’s passion. Times set aside can bring about a new place of health and willingness to learn and to grow that may not have been possible before the setback. Like baseball players swinging their bats in the bat cage, it is a time to practice what already knows in order to refine and to actually move beyond a previously preconceived or predetermined place of growth to something exponentially beyond. And once again, what matters is the safe and healthy passage from one stage to the next naturally comes with time and the evolving of circumstances to heal awareness from past mistakes and to govern new ventures coming forth with a shrewd eye to what is next because of what was garnered by the time spent “setback.” It can be a season of growing in patience, and we know that patience produces perseverance, and character, hope and hope does not disappoint us. What if the chief disappointment we experience in a perceived loss is not actually the loss, but the revealing of the undeveloped part of our being that does not yet have enough character established in order to maintain the level of success that may well be ahead, but that is not yet able to come to rest until that proper foundation is created.

The heart of collaboration is triune wisdom at work. It sees the self, it sees the other, and it sees that what can be accomplished in consort is greater than what one can accomplish alone.

Perhaps the tendency to not want to collaborate, to be a solo artist stems from an intrinsic insecurity which prevents the individual from entering in to what could be, so far beyond any creative illusion, the actual recreation of the self into what could never exist sitting somewhere up high on a shelf out of view, away from the sights and sounds of humanity that can trick one into thinking that life is better lived away from the dust and dearth of incompleted humanity stumbling about in an attempt to find meaning from meaningless things.

Having time set aside in which to create and to be free from one’s one humanity for a time to be enveloped by the greater world, the living context of things that are outside oneself is essential in order to get a foothold in one’s own creative atmosphere and practice.

But to have the wherewithal to be able to collaborate brings in the possibility of change not one one’s own terms, but on the terms of the group, whether two or more. It is interesting that scripture says “where two or more are gathered, there He is in their midst.” There is something extremely specialized and effective when the people of God get together and co-create. It is more than just interesting and fun, it is spiritually dynamic and capable of bringing about great things.

By no means do I want to suggest that there is not a place for the individual artist to express themselves singularly. It is crucial to be able to do so in order to have an appreciation for what others go through and experience. It is a reminder of being a created being as much as it is of being a creator: from the fire of inspiration to the struggle to express the inexpressible.

The sense that what is possible is elusive when banding together with other like-minded creatives is entirely common. We do not know how things happen as they should, the way things coalesce that never could have been planned, and yet that fit together in a way impossible to have predicted, much less recreate. The only certainty is that if it happened once, it can happen again.

Forming things in the quiet place is at times essential. And while the length of gestational time is different for each of us, the essential pattern is the same. What is required is time for ideas to meld, to flow together, to knit, to form a unified whole. It is not always possible to know in advance what it will take to complete a given project, but the ongoing discovery along the way can be an impetus for forward movement.

Trust is the bedrock essential for collaboration. There has got to be a baseline of respect and some level of commonality among fellow creatives in order for the melding of times and lives to occur as it can and should. For the true collaborator, the desire for the end result to be the best it can be is what motivates the creator more than anything else.

It can be daunting setting out with the ambition to create something of worth and to stick to it when the going gets difficult. But when collaborating, the members of a given group can encourage and spur one another on as needed. But the great gift of collaboration, more than anything, is that its end goal is not to exalt one person over another, or one group, but rather, to showcase what people can do when unified. There is no room for gloating or pride or ownership, but instead, a glowing, a joy, a freedom at being able to make a difference not because of one’s own powers, but because there has been an opportunity to walk in true unity.

When we consider the trinity, it is hard to imagine that exact relationship between three and one. It is a bit of a conundrum, and as such, we only have hints and suggestions to go on. While the manifestation of each is unique, the root is common and the manifestations interchangeable.

What the solo egoist can’t abide is feeling made to feel less-than. But what the collaborator understands is the necessary kinship and solidarity between all parties, and the unspeakable joy that when together, more can be accomplished than when alone. What makes the indelible imprint is not the individual signature, but the beauty and glory released through the majestic intertwining of different parts. It is an architecture binding soul, mind and spirit and there is no replacement as an individual for it.

Certainly, people love to applaud the solo artist or individual who single-handedly produces something special and worthy. It has its place, and the intent of this is to not undermine personal expression. But unfortunately, most solo artists neglect to point out all the sources and individuals, and most of all, their Creator as all necessary elements in making their work pure and true. The solo artist who can humbly acknowledge all the different resources that made their one true expression possible is moving in a place of understanding and confidence. The artist who can only feel accomplished when taking all the credit may be insecure and feeling the need to be affirmed, going back to some childhood lack of feeling safe and confident in their creative abilities. 

One reason some people balk at collaboration is perhaps due to the accountability aspect: not wanting any interruption to creative process. But there can be other issues. There is no need for ego when the strength of multiple others is part of the equation. What each person brings to the table is more than enough in consort with the others. The sum is great because of the whole of the parts.

At some point or another, most perfectionists, self included, struggle with a kind of self-doubt that oddly takes the form of philanthropy. Known commonly as ‘people-pleasing,’ sufferers of this malady are driven not so much by the desire to see people happy, as much as to feel affirmed, welcomed, joyous, delivered, sane, not debilitated, fill in the blank, and the list goes on.

Perhaps this condition is not at all related to perfectionism. But its drive is so comprehensive, I’m going to venture that a connection likely exists.

The risk of getting broken and scarred even in the unhealthiest of relationships is one that the perfectionist is at times willing to take in order to appease that part of the self that is starved for the affirmation even of the unsafe and unstable.

Its cousin is the ‘yes man’—those who feel compelled to portray agreement with the status quo at virtually any cost. It is more about self-preservation than affirming others or even affirming self. It is chiefly a form of self-defense. And while it may be a relative once-removed from people-pleasing, it possesses the ideological common denominator which is the wearing of a mask in order to appease, to avoid what is at times needful confrontation, in order to not show up or be challenged. (More on this matter in Chapter 7.) Love, on the other hand, seeks to cover over wrongs without fear of being challenged. When love is at the foundation, it is itself proof that all of the necessary groundwork has been done, and there now exists a firm place to stand.

These observations are not meant to cast a shadow on the importance of loving others and keeping the peace. But it is meant to question the basis for doing it. If motivated by love, the desire is for the true good of the individual, and not for any sort of self-gain. This is of course not to say there is no personal benefit from kindness shown to another; there is and should be a sense of well being from caring for another. But in its purest form, the motivation is primarily for the benefit and blessing of the recipient. The love that is shown is the hallmark of the cause, not the other way around. Sometimes a cause becomes the strategic focus, and more than a pure love-motivated action, it is easy to get caught up in ‘helping’ someone in such a way that they become a sort of project. The truth is that no one wants to be someone’s project. And if so, it is only an expression of brokenness that so covets human attention, it will take the dregs of someone else’s need to take on a cause. I know this all too well from personal experience, and from observing others. I can recall a time that I realized the high likelihood that I had been the target of someone else’s need to have a project, and the thought that what I thought was a viable, two-way friendship was actually their self-attempt to check off a box of self-imposed ‘causedom’ makes me cringe. I’m honestly not sure if more on my behalf, or on theirs. But having fallen into this particular form of people-pleasing in the past, I can say that is self-serving and more about the individual’s need to feel like a hero than it is truly caring for another.

Self-doubt is an issue usually dwelling well under wrap. People with advanced degrees, secure careers and seemingly well-put together lives can nevertheless labor under the belief that they are less than adequate.

Another branch of the tree of people-pleasing is pursuit of social justice causes. Once again, the cloak of philanthropy, but it is sometimes a covering for unrelated issues.

It should be said at this juncture that the purpose of this expo is not to shame, but simply to reveal less than pure motives for what they are. This is not meant to breed cynicism; true philanthropy of course does exist! It has at its core the words of Christ that “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” The call is to “love one another deeply, from the heart.” This we cannot do without a commitment to honesty, and the kind of love that willingly looks beyond itself to the needs of others. That kind of love is available through the Father of Lights, in whom there is no shadow of change.” His changeless spirit within us is what enables us to keep the “love-light shining.” I always thought of the song with that expression to be cheesy, but the imagery of a lighthouse is apropos in the context of doing what it takes to extend a beacon of light to those who might otherwise find themselves jettisoned by whatever unanticipated hazard they may encounter.

The beauty of the matter is that no matter what the past may have held for any of us, our experiences qualify us to understand the plights of others. Even when that plight may be a failure to be honest with oneself. This brings us back to the discussion of social justice matters. Unfortunately, many of the so-called warriors of movements and causes that seem to be for the benefit of humanity have settled for the lesser form of love. It is a hollow depiction of the real thing. Far from being in the secular arena alone, the malady is very common in the church. Most of us have encountered what were perhaps talented ministers who nevertheless seemed to have forgotten how to love. They leave wounded souls in their wake, as they have raised the “cause” of their ministry above that of the cause of Christ, which was to walk in humble obedience to the heart of the Father, at all times, in all seasons, even to one’s personal detriment, which in actuality is honor in terms of the Kingdom. (Example: The Sermon on the Mount.) Paul writes of the importance of overseers to have stable families, as they are setting an example of Christ for those who will see.

[Have courage for this section. It needs to bite the heels of the restrainers.]

When we get caught up in the trap of trying to be perfect, it is always one-sided, it is always about us. For a long time, I brought what I thought was the best of myself to my tasks, and while outward perfection or at least meeting a certain standard was achieved on plenty of occasions, behind the offer to help was a self-serving desire to show up as a good person. That is not to say there was no desire to help others, but simply that appearing well was a higher priority than actually serving others. There is a place for “faking it till you make it.” You pay a higher price however for what you offer that you don’t actually place a premium on, because it is typically not something relatable. The cost of time, energy, money and lifeblood running concurrently can make the best of souls feel they are running dry.

The remedy is not pulling out from helpful or humanitarian services. It just means a new perspective must be calibrated.

There are seasons of change coming. Do not fear them, you will reap what you have sown. (move this thought to Excellence chapter?)

People-pleasing is the default for people who have lacked affirmation in their lives. They set aside their own will to work to please others in a desperate exchange for adulation and affirmation. It is a steep price to pay. But one can make the point that without the proper sense of self, there actually is no way to effectively move in one’s calling without the needful ingredient of self-affirmation and love, because it is the foundation of forward movement.

With moving forward can come a moving away from people who were perhaps integral in one’s passage or passages through change or growth. It can be confusing both for the one in flux as well as the people who have been in essence sidelined due to inevitable change.

The challenge for the people-pleaser is to let certain relationships go when they no longer are part of the life-giving flow of the person’s life. That’s not to say that the people that were once more involved are not important any more; just that they are no longer on the road to the place you are heading, as they once were. Part of honoring what they were is to understand their natural boundaries. This does not relegate them to a lesser status, it simply assesses them as a necessary part of the foundation that once laid, does not need to be relayed, and can then serve to support the edifice which is being built. If there is an artificial adhesion to what was in the past, the current season can be missed.

Discernment is important at the break of a season of change. Change for changes’ sake is not necessarily advantageous. To pilot one’s own shift can be an interesting adventure. Some change is needed in order to stimulate new growth. Some change requires a passage through grief for the ‘what was’, even if the change happens to be positive.

Pulling free of relationships that were once integral can be challenging. There can be feelings of guilt and confusion over the shift. This is typical when sorting through a relational transition and should not be seen as a problem in of itself, even if it poses some level of awkwardness.

Chapter 3:

Phantom-Captor Hostages

One of the tricks of the trade of perfectionism is to hold its victims captive to a false narrative, which dictates that there is no escaping its procedures and protocols. Like the worst kind of bureaucracy, perfectionism mandates unwavering adherence to its rules and regulations. But unlike bureaucratic domains, perfectionism thrives on indulging whims and fancies that are often quite arbitrary. Ironically, those in the grip of the perfectionist mindset tend to not even notice their captivity. For years, I thought it was something positive, a way to keep on task, to stay polished, be the best I could be. And while those can be some of its inadvertent and potential side effects, the truth of the matter is that they are superficial. The negative side effects far exceed any positive ones, because they are based on the false premise that one can actually “be enough” and “do enough” and yet, there is running parallel with this the belief that one can never be enough or do enough. It’s been said that to hold two opposing views at the same time is a sign of intelligence. So chalk that one up to the perfectionist. But lament the fact that any self-perceived achievement is usually greatly outweighed by a deep doubt about one’s true ability and consequently self-worth. I have never met a perfectionist who didn’t struggle to believe they were actually good enough to accomplish their own demands. Let’s say for the sake of the discussion that there was an element of truth in the belief that one is actually good enough to accomplish one’s goals and dreams. A picture of perfectionism however is like something standing by and devouring each and every element of food you put on the plate the moment you place it. The frustration and actual grief is enormous, and yet, the perfectionist never really sees it, and certainly never acknowledges that a great sadness is accompanying this devastation of something actually well done. But this is a perfect picture, like an animal that eats its own young. It is chaos and horror, organized into neat rows and passed off as acceptable when it is nothing more than a grim reminder of a broken, fallen humanity that groans at its own captivity.

And once again, ironies abound. The captivity is at once real and perceived as real. The mechanisms and machinations of perfectionism are not as greatly at fault as the mindset that drives them. But that is of course true of any way of thinking that is based on a lie. The captivity is effective as long as it is perceived as durable and impenetrable. But once the eyes are opened to the YES and AMEN of the Risen One who came and who comes bearing a sword of justice, hope and triumph, all lesser mindsets and abilities and strengths must fall down and worship the only one to whom is due all glory, all honor, and all power—not to paltry human ideas of right goodness.

When we come to recognize that the divine standard of perfection cannot be met in the flesh, we can respond in one of two ways, or perhaps most likely, one in succession of the other. The first is the stonewall of inability. We are not God, never will be. The penchant to stretch beyond our God-given capabilities was spawned in the Garden when God’s first children decided to abandon his words and instead listen to the voice of another telling them they could be ‘like God.’ That reach for such is the same reach of temptation and willingness to be autonomous apart from our Creator. There is nothing wrong with self-motivation, or the exercise of our talents and God-given abilities in order to take ourselves to our very created limits. When motivated by humility, this is a beautiful derivative to walking in our call as image-bearers of the Creator.

Another reaction is a sense of being a permanent failure, a complete loser. This is actually looking on the bright side, because it is a necessary part of realizing our inadequacy relative to God’s adequacy. The problem comes when we make the logical conclusion that because we are losers, we are therefore dejected, rejected and abandoned as irredeemable. It is a conclusion based on flesh alone, with no concession made for the interruption of the divine which calls us lay aside our limitations to accept His limitless being on our behalf. But why don’t more of us take the Creator up on such a lavish invitation? It is not unlike the children of Israel gathered at the base of the bronze serpent raised to impart healing by the mere fixing of a gaze on its presence. Some refused to do so, and died on the spot from their disease as a result. There was nothing to perform, no incantations to cite, dance to do, money to give. Just obeisance, and surrender to a plan that didn’t look any more like saving the world than just about any other illogical picture one could dream up. But that is what our God chose. Jesus, raised to life again, was placed high above for all to see, and all who were willing to look to his truth would be healed. And nothing about that has ever changed. It flies in the face of self-effort and self-reliance. It puts the dialogue back into the hands of God, not necessarily taking into account any of the myriad response of a fallen humanity,

Whether you decide to take one view or the other, it is important to know at the most basic of levels that you are loved beyond anything you can say or do, and this, not based upon what you’ve said, done or otherwise. We can be quick to judge ourselves when we actually just need to take a more balanced and honest inventory of our lives and remember we are coming from the place of belief when we are in Christ. “Behold, the old has gone, and the new has come.” (II Corinthians 5:17)

Perfectionism likes to make its recipients feel they are in charge when actually they are not. It is a kind of captivity in reverse, wherein the perfectionist is sitting in the driver’s seat and trying to maintain control and make things happen, when all the while the white-knuckled grip is coming at the expense of focus on other areas. So it is a kind of quiet captivity to one’s own arbitrary vision.

The perfectionist casts woeful desires around and bemoans the lost success when things don’t work out as they should. The truth is that the stakes are usually raised so high, it is very difficult to actually meet them. So, in essence, the perfectionist stays in this perpetual state of anxiety, fetish, and self-imposed drama. It is a poverty mindset that does not understand the end from the middle from the beginning. Now, hindsight is always 20/20, but the perfectionist isn’t really as fixated on learning from past mistakes: it is the ultimate mistake that keeps being made, ironically, all in the guise of being something good.

Most perfectionists haven’t even identified that they have an issue that has likely held them back from many good things. There is a drive to be complete all the time that just isn’t workable, useful or realistic. One of the most unfortunate aspects of this is the fact that perfectionists sometimes try to project their value system on others, who may feel overly put upon and in general aren’t interested in keeping up with some set of rules that is largely based upon another time and another place.

There is a tremendous freedom in the recognition that we are not bound by any job, any situation, any relationship: we are free to move in the grace and the glory that has been apportioned to each of us. Many of us live in ignorance of this fact, and instead deal with a sense of heavy chains binding us away from the life we were intended to lead. We look at relationships that seem less than satisfactory and try to find a way outside, but what we actually need is a freedom from within. Until that happens, we are consigned to relationships that seem to hobble us. We may leave one for another, and in the rush that accompanies a major life change, we can feel a momentary release. It is like cutting a plant down to the ground without actually removing the root system. There is a sense of completion and the issue seems dealt with. But it is only a matter of time before the plant will begin to send up shoots again, and even more prolifically as the root system is strengthened by the former growth’s removal. It results in an increase of the previous issue, not a lessening of it.

In the Victorian era romantic comedy “A Room With A View,” the protagonist and her chaperone on vacation in Italy are complaining at a common breakfast table about their lack of a view from their hotel room. The remarks are overheard by a father and son who offer to trade their room with a grand view for the women’s lesser appointed one. When the prim and proper chaperone declines the gracious offer, the poetic father replies in impassioned tones: “I don’t need a view! My vision is from within! Here is where the birds sing, here is where the sky is blue!” When our vision is from within, there is no external circumstance that can sway or bend us.

In Pilates, the goal is to create a strong muscular core. We are not made to be without restraint. If that restraint does not come from within, it will necessarily come from without. The logical extreme of lack of needful restraint is imprisonment. The irony is that we can rail against our circumstances and look around us to blame externals for what we are going through. The reality however is that we need only to look within for the answer. It is usually as simple as the biblical concept of repentance: we change what we are thinking so that our actions may follow through. If we try to change our actions without our mindset changing first, we find ourselves back in the muck and mire we extracted ourselves from. Admitting to our part in a problem is that muck and mire. No one likes to see themselves in a less than positive light. That is why taking time out each day to simply bask in the love and joy God has for us makes our faults, shortcomings, weakness and foibles so much lesser in the light of His mercy and desire to come alongside to strengthen us. The wonderful thing is that it isn’t only for us to enjoy, but we are given an overflow which we can spill off into other lives in need of the glimpses of hope that we’ve been allowed to see and experience.

Like a rhino running off of a cliff to its own demise, our feelings can get the better of us. They seem to sneak up from behind at times, our emotions that is, and take us over the edge. The result at that point is to pick up shattered fragments and to then move on.

There can be a sense of the ageless clutter that collects at the base of the cliff and overwhelms the ‘thrower’ with the mess that remains. What is needed is the equivalent of a light and encouragement, from a perspective that things can change, and will change, when we put our mind to it. All we need to do is ask. As scripture reminds us: “You have not because you ask not.”

What if we got intentional about the kinds of things we want to ask from God? After all, don’t we let our families know when we need some sort of help? Help from Above works much in the same way.

We can get as specific as we want to in our requests. Someone is always waiting, listening, watching: our Helper from on High. If we don’t get a specific answer we are anticipating in response, we need to remember that we don’t always ask for what is best, and when we are engaging the Most High, the only one perfect Being that exists, we may not always ask for what is in our best interests. Our desires mature with time. The specific things we long for as children are going to be the same things we will want as adults.

It is important to address to ourselves when we feel we are captivated by the wrong things. Perfectionism for sure has a kind of seduction attached to it, in that it lures us to want something that is out of reach. Perhaps the pleasure we experience when we seem to get something right, or do something well. It is within the spirit of excellence when we succeed and we are happy not only for ourselves, but for the ways those around us benefit. We can be assured it is the spirit of perfectionism when we feel like we are failures as human beings when we do not succeed or pull something off that could have gone better. We can become extremely critical of ourselves and of others when we are caught in this trap, and it is a pathway to imprisonment that we willingly walk, all the way until we are behind bars.

Exercise of free will is something each of us have been given. It requires however a responsible spirit to be able to make the right choices. By right choices it is simply that which honors God, honors us, and honors others. When one of those is missing, the action is incomplete. Surely, we are not always going to be on our game enough to reach this. That said, how do we respond when we do not reach it? Are we harsh with ourselves, or with others? Do we blame ourselves or make blanket statements like ‘I always fail’ or “I will never succeed’ or ‘I don’t have what it takes’ or ‘I will always be brushed aside and overlooked’ or ‘I am a doormat and people just walk all over me.’ How many times we complain to ourselves and to others and but never go about the business of fixing what is awry? The thing that is off is our self-perception. It is the source of our mood swings and is the very element that alienates us from those who actually like us and want to befriend us and even help us. We need to see ourselves within the beloved’s gaze, ever fixed upon us, wanting us to recognize our belovedness. Our help comes from within, but it is filled form on High! The degree to which we choose to connect ourselves there and let the dictates of heaven upon our lives fill our brain and therefore our primary functions, then we are free to pursue dreams and visions and God-given dreams as if there were no impediments in the way.

Surrounding ourselves with others who are walking the same kind of straight and narrow we are is essential. We need to look to those who are farther along the path, as much as we need to encourage those who are starting theirs out with regard to calling. It isn’t always a neat and streamlined process, and even in the relative chaos that can occur at the outset of a project coming into being, we need to have times of sitting back and letting go and occasionally, even having someone else put a piece of the puzzle in place for us! This does not take away from the holy unction we’ve been given, set apart for a certain task.

What we say also matters. We can want to move in a positive direction, but if what we say typically results in conclusive statements such as: ‘I am (fill in the blank)’ in such a way as to severely limit the truth of who we are in terms of who we are becoming, we are the ones holding ourselves in captivity. The keys are on the table, they are ours to take, no one else’s and it is important to understand that the reins-keeping of our own lives is a responsibility given to us and there are no intruders allowed, no intrusions on the outside that can pull it away. We can willingly give our authority away, but it is to our own detriment and to the detriment of others if we do. Some will pressure us into taking away the ground we’ve been given to hold, others will apply subtle force, others, not so subtle. Our place is to stand. “Having done everything, to stand.”

Sometimes we need those around us that love us and are likewise jealous for our success in the areas we’ve been called to, to pray or even at times to speak on our behalf. We need strong shoulders to lean on, to cry on at times, and to not be concerned with what lesser voices are saying. Sometimes they rattle on and on like tin cans pulled along on a string. Why do we want to keep them dragging along inside of our minds , which are meant to house glorious things? We can cut them loose when we so choose. We may not always choose how often they come to plague us, but God’s grace is sufficient for us, He promises us that He is strong in our weakness, and we do not need to conclude we are done for when our lives are actually just beginning. We can say with confidence: “God is my helper, what can man to do me?” we may not always feel that, but we can declare it and trust that we are teaching our inner self to come into alignment.